Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
COCAINE IS GR8
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
