I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
