your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
