i barfeds in our rink
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
as a side note pls kill me
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
