Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
