I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
