Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
