thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
