with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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