no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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