First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
