Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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