I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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