how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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