i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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