I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
