Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
