You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
there is glitter all over my balls
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
