That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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