My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
