direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
