Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
