Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
