We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
