I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
