And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
