went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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