I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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