My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Drake has all the answers
jump out the window naked night went bad
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
