I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
