Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
