Those balls look pretty dangerous.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
