So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
