She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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