We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
