Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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