i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
