You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
