All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
