how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
