My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
