I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
