I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
