Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
