How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
