You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
