then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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