His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
