you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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