dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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