i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
